sasquatch sovereignty

02Dec12

Our study has sequenced 20 whole mitochondrial genomes and utilized next generation sequencing to obtain 3 whole nuclear genomes from purported Sasquatch samples. The genome sequencing shows that Sasquatch mtDNA is identical to modern Homo sapiens, but Sasquatch nuDNA is a novel, unknown hominin related to Homo sapiens and other primate species. Our data indicate that the North American Sasquatch is a hybrid species, the result of males of an unknown hominin species crossing with female Homo sapiens.

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Genetically, the Sasquatch are a human hybrid with unambiguously modern human maternal ancestry. Government at all levels must recognize them as an indigenous people and immediately protect their human and Constitutional rights against those who would see in their physical and cultural differences a ‘license’ to hunt, trap, or kill them.

A blueberry bagel, allegedly nibbled on and discarded by one of our furry brothers, provided the source of this DNA sample, according to Dr. Melba S. Ketchum of DNA Diagnostics.

Meanwhile, in the field of real science, it has emerged that humanity was fairly diverse and multicultural about 1.78-1.95 million years ago. No one’s writing about Pleistocene settler colonialism yet, however.



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